How to handle “Discipline” as a bonus parent:

During our dating phase I had no clue how to handle discipline, but over time I learned there were certain things I could handle, as well as certain things I couldn’t handle. For example: If Londyn became disobedient, I would ALWAYS resort to telling her father. Even though it hurt me to have to relay such disappointing news, I knew I could handle doing that. Plus, that fact that I knew it would turn into a life lesson for her didn’t hurt either. I knew I could count on her father to teach her from her mistakes, and show her the importance of RESPECT. Not just respecting me, but respecting people PERIOD. No matter their age. Even though I never put my hands on Londyn, I became cleaver with my thinking. There were a couple of times where Londyn would push the envelope with me so bad I wouldn’t know how I would explain her behavior to her father. Even though she was just being a kid, and doing what children do, I knew I couldn’t let certain things slide. THANK GOD FOR CELL PHONES! I can count on one hand the times I pulled my smartphone out and began secretly recording her in the act. The purpose was to show her father, then eventually show her so she could see herself, for herself. The two times I actually recorded her they worked like a charm. I learned that for one, the video would give Tarrio a clear picture of what I experienced. Not that he wouldn’t believe me, but it was an opportunity for me to have a clear witness. I trusted him to be honest with me, even if that meant I had to hear him tell me I was possibly over reacting. Although he knew I would always tell him the truth, I knew that was his baby girl. With Londyn being a double dose daddy’s girl I knew some things she knew how to wiggle herself out of as well. Even if is was only with the look she gave him, she knew how to work her magic. Her big beautiful eyes have gotten her out of some big trouble. Nevertheless, Londyn learned by watching how she behaved. I remember vividly one day after she watched what I’d recorded, she admitted how disappointed she was with herself. She was so upset and begged me to forgive her. She knew she was going to be in super big trouble, but promised to never do that again. When her father arrived, he did what any great parent would do. Sat her down, and watched the video with her. He gave her a play by play of her disobedience , and how this would not be tolerated. Now, when I came to things I knew couldn’t handle it was obvious. It was NEVER easy watching her cry due to her being reprimanded for her actions. There were many times I would hear her crying in the other room, and I would have just as many tears streaming down my face.  Did it hurt watching her learn tough lessons? ABSOLUTELY, but I was blessed to have someone who knew the importance, and wasn’t afraid to incorporate discipline. Not only was her father a huge help, I learned later on down the road that even though her mother and I didn’t get along during that time, she was very instrumental in requiring Londyn to respect me.

Now that Londyn’s father and I are married I handle discipline a little different as a bonus parent. I will NEVER put my hands on her, but I have learned to tell her “No”. The three of us as parents work extremely well together when it comes to making sure she knows her boundaries. I’ve learned how to talk to her. I’ve learned the very things that get to her the most. The things that will make her straighten up QUICKLY, with the first being “I’m going to tell your father if you keep this up”. After that,it’s pretty much a done deal! You can find more tips on “ What to do when your bonus kids disrespect you” by visiting here.

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