The day I learned my boyfriend had a child I knew, eventually, I would have to meet the other “Biological Parent”. The first thought that came to my mind was “ I pray this isn’t the typical baby momma horror story. I decided to lose the negative thoughts, and focus on the positive. I truly had no idea what I was in for, but I was actually anxious to meet her. I had it all in my mind. The perfect plan in a PERFECT WORLD was to greet her with my huge smile, shake hands, and find the perfect moment to express how amazingly special her daughter was. In addition to letting her know how much of a joy she was to be around. Little did I know shaking the reality of how it could go down wasn’t easy, especially after I asked my boyfriend the hard questions. I wanted him to cough up the facts, and give me every single detail. “What she was like. Was she nice, or was she mean? Was she passive, or would there be loads of drama? Would she like me, or would she hate my natural guts? Once he began answering my questions I kinda knew what I was in for. This introduction would probably be the TOTAL OPPOSITE of how I’d imagined. My perception quickly turned into worry, doubt, and some fear.
The day Londyn’s mom Kawan, and I met I was super nervous. I now wonder if she was nervous as well. Nevertheless I was READY! She walked into the house and Tarrio introduced her. I gave her this huge, animated “Hello” which probably scared the mess out of her. Her “Hello” on the other hand wasn’t as animated. I smiled and immediately developed this mind set. IF SHE DOESN’T WANT TO GENUINELY SPEAK TO ME, I WON’T GO OUT OF MY WAY TO GENUINELY SPEAK TO HER. Point. Blank. Period. My mind was made up, and I was determined to keep it that way. Why???? Because I was IGNORANT to the fact of how harmful this would be during the years to come. She and I wasted years and years of opportunities to GET IT RIGHT! Not for the sake of us, but for the sake of Londyn. Londyn suffered somewhat emotionally due to our immaturity. Children are smart. They soak things up like a sponge, so it was easy for her to put two and two together when I came to how her mother and I felt about each other. We showed her through our actions that WE DID NOT LIKE EACH OTHER. DO we regret it now? ABSOLUTELY. We no longer beat ourselves up however because we realize back then we didn’t have a solid EXAMPLE of what to do in our situation. No blueprint giving us instructions on how to properly build our relationship as two women. Two STRONG women who due to one little girl we could potentially be in each others lives forever. Now that things are better we must lead others through transparency. If you want to learn more on “Meeting The Biological Parent” take a look at this “Honey Meet The Ex” by Julie H. Case