Why Isn’t Every Bonus Mom Losing It?
I was literally having one of the scariest moments of my life. No, you don’t understand. Like one of my real-life nightmares. I’d planned one of my usual last minute crazy ideas as usual. Whenever this happens to me, I get super excited. Fear comes into play as well because I know the idea is crazy, and I don’t know how I will pull it off, but I know when I put my mind to something I can get it done. Well with my husband being a musician he travels quite often. With him constantly traveling that would limit the time he was able to spend with his daughter. So, I would often get these ideas to connect with her mom and arrange a way to surprise him with baby girl once he arrives back home. She and I set everything up smoothly. The timing worked out perfectly, but I had no idea the trip would be filled with twists and unexpected turns.
This particular ride home turned out to be a wild one. The drive to meet her and her mom was fine. Clear skies, sunny, with perfect weather. I picked baby girl up from our normal meeting location and began the journey back to Atlanta. She and I were having fun. Listening to music. Talking about her friends at school, and me poking to see if there were any boys showing interest in her. Could barely believe she’d reached that age to where boys were even a thing. We all want her to remain a baby forever. Nevertheless, of course her response is “Ewww Moo-mie. That’s nasty. I don’t have time for boys”. Whew. Talk about being relieved. My first though was “Thank God. We may have just a few more years before this topic really becomes a real thing, but until then let me continue to enjoy where she currently stands on the issue.
We began laughing at her bold response, and then out of nowhere it starts raining. Not your average drops of rain either. It was a complete RUSH OF WATER. I started to panic because I already hate driving as it is. I despise it, and I literally use my GPS for everything. My sense of direction is horrible, and I have no problem admitting that. It really is a shame, but it’s my reality. This rain got so heavy that I couldn’t see clear. Everything in front of me was blurry. I was so scared, but I could NEVER let her know because I knew she was a bit afraid too. I had to be strong for the both of us. Plus, I had to let her know that no matter what I was going to make sure we were safe. I slowed the vehicle down and began to watch what was happening around us. I noticed cars in front of me and behind me had turned their emergency blinkers on. Well, I followed suit because obviously they knew doing that would help them get through their journey. I confirmed baby girl was tightly in her seat belt and made sure mine was snug as well. Londyn was on the verge of tears, but I kept telling her it was ok. I tried to comfort her as much as possible. Encouraging her to trust me, and not to panic. I put my emergency lights on and gave one last quick glance at my GPS. It read to keep straight for 79 miles. I took a deep breathe and said “Let’s Do This’. “KEEP GOING STRAIGHT”……. “YOU HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR THE RAIN TO PASS”……. “ JUST KEEP GOING STRAIGHT”. That’s all I kept hearing in my head. I decided to breathe through it. The further we drove, even though we were going 25mph, the closer we reached an area that I recognized. I became comfortable because I TRUSTED MY GUT. I knew where I was, and I no longer needed the device I constantly used as a crutch. I was even better because the rain was GONE, and the sun was shining again.
That’s when it hit me. I was immediately reminded of the dynamics that come with a bonus mom. Everything can be just as smooth one minute then the next minute we can be hit with somewhat of a monsoon. ALL UNEXPECTEDLY. What’s so crazy is many of us don’t have a GPS, or a blueprint, if you will, to guide us on what to do next. How to go about making the next move, or even giving us a shortcut to get out of a potential messy situation. I’ve gotten stuck on what to do about a situation plenty of times. It’s not easy, nor is it fun. I really want to encourage you by letting you know no matter what bonus-mom, YOU WILL BE OK. YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT. I promise you. Just be calm, trust yourself, breathe through it, and trust your gut. You see, me seeing every other car with their blinkers on was a sign for me to do the same thing. Yes, we were driving different cars. Some older with more miles, and some brand new, but besides all of that it showed me SOMEBODY knew to do what I need to do as well. In return the vehicle behind me was encouraged to do the same thing. And so on, and so on. Which brings me to this point. If you are stuck in a sticky situation bonus-mom don’t be afraid to look around or ask around for HELP. We don’t know it all, and never will. No matter how bad we may desire. We will always need someone who may be a bit more experienced than us.